auto-suggestion

["chenxsi" <chenxsi@...>]

Hello.

I've been practicing the step 2 auto-suggestion stuff with limited 
success. It seems that my success would always be short-lived for 
some reason.

For example, i strive to be more confident each day by repeating the 
phrase "i am extremely confident" constantly throughout the entire 
day. I would forget who i am currently, and really believe, and know 
that all these while i have been an extremely confident person. 

Oftenly, the results are amazing. I would really become who i want 
to become...but it rarely last more than a few days. After enjoying 
a a few days of being an extremely confident person, one day i would 
simply start to have this obsession that i might not be as confident 
as i think. 

Doubts and negative thoughts start to arise more and more oftenly, 
and hell, i would even dream of myself as being a person who lacks 
confidence. Every time a negative thought arise, i would forcefully 
exclude and ignore that thought, and focus on a positive alternative 
thought instead. However, my worst fear would eventually come true, 
and i would simply "forget" what it is like to be extremely 
confident. No matter how hard i try to remember what it is like for 
me to be extremely confident, my mind would go blank. I would act 
strange. It is as if my mind is stopping myself from being 
confident. By the way, i have often been accused by my friends for 
having multiple personalities etc etc...and this is driving me 
insane. 

I am sure this is one of those sub-conscious protection mechanism or 
something...but if this is the case, how am i suppose to be able to 
transform my personality at all?

Any help would be appreaciated very deeply!!