Re: Mental problem, an advise please!

["Alan" <fish_studios@...>]

Dear Kostas,

>> Now, about Bardon's work I have done something really foolish. I 
have done the mental exercise WRONG for five months. <<

Don't worry too much about doing something wrong. Sometimes you will 
think that you have achieved something, but then when you REALLY 
achieve it, you want to kick yourself ;)

For me it was the vacancy of mind exercise. I thought I had achieved 
the desire state and was working up to about 5 minutes. Then I 
REALLY achieved the vacancy of mind. Glad I did, but at the same 
time I was disappointed. Working hard at something that wasn't quite 
right :) But on the one hand, without that "failure" I wouldn't have 
had the success. So whatever it is that you have done "wrong" might 
have not been wrong but simply part of the learning experience.

And I know where you are coming from with the nervousness. I myself 
am rather anti-social. I get really nervous and anxious aroung a 
large group of people. Small groups of people that I know are okay, 
but throw in some people I haven't met or don't know well... well I'm 
sure you know what happens :)

But to give some encouragement: I've already noticed a change. I 
don't get really nervous anymore around people. I still don't like 
to draw attention to myself, but I've seen improvment there too. And 
these are things that I haven't been working on. Just the general 
mind set that practicing IIH gives you has helped me. I'm sure the 
same will be true for you.

And if Hermetics is important to you, then by all means do not stop! 
Part of the initiation process is overcoming our shortcomings. 
Perseverance and willpower are built up as result of that work. Two 
qualities that are very important to magical development. So if 
something is challenging for you, take enjoyment in conquering it :) 
Think not of it as work but as part of the step that you are on. 
Don't stress over the things that are difficult. Take delight in 
working on them.

All Will Go Well,
-- Alan