Re: Concentration and the Step I Work

["forestofsymbols" <forestofsymbols@...>]

Alan,

In my experience, there are two ways of doings things: with and 
without consciousness. One can drive a car with or without paying 
attention to what one is doing. I'm sure all of us have gotten up in 
the morning and driven to work or school and realize that we're not 
sure exactly how we got there. Many of us wander through the day not 
paying any attention at all, but rather "zoned out" or stuck in a 
cloudy mental narrative. Further, attention can go in two directions: 
within and without. One can be as easily lost in one's own thoughts 
as one can be lost in one's surroundings. Both seem to me to be 
imbalanced. Even when meditating, one can do it with and without 
attention. 

In my mind, the underlying message of Step One is "pay attention." 
In fact, each exercise of Step One reinforces the other, such that 
one cannot take it part by part, but as a whole. I would assume that 
all 10 Steps are the same way, both internally and between them. I 
found Step One to be quite difficult because of all the conscious 
effort it required. Bardon asks us to give attention to our thoughts, 
our inner souls, our bodies, our eating, drinking, and breathing, and 
our lives. It is easy (because I have done it) to pass through all 
the exercises of Step One with the feeling that one has *done* it 
when in fact one has only gone through the motions. 

Step Two continues that development, again, as a whole. It is 
often emphasized that one will not be able to do further steps until 
each preceding step is mastered. It is easy to think, as I once 
thought, that this applies to such things as being unable to 
visualize without mastering the Step One exercises. But it is more 
than that. Step Two is impossible without the attention developed in 
Step One. Before one can control one's anger, for example, one has to 
be aware of it as it is happening. In order to do that, one must be 
able to detach from one's passions in the manner that one detached 
from one's thoughts in Step One. It is as though Step One plants a 
spark of awareness which must be nurtured and expanded in Step Two. 
In some respects, the exercises of Step One are like practices for 
battle. Practice is done in a controlled environment, with wooden 
swords and complete protection for the individual. It is easy to 
observe one's thoughts laying down with your eyes closed; just as it 
is easy to learn basic thrusts and parries with a sword. In Step Two, 
one begins actual combat in real-time, real-life situations. Now we 
must be able to observe ourselves standing, acting, and moving about 
in an open space with no time limitations. Now we must use the sword 
against real opponents who will not stand still or follow the rules 
of engagement. 

mj